Appearances are deceiving when it comes to the Supine in the love and affection area of their temperament.
Supine in Affection suffer from an “indirect behavior conflict” by expressing very little need for love and affection and appearing not to want deep personal relationships. However, they really want a great deal of love, affection and approval and desire deep personal relationships. Their appearances are deceiving not by intention but because it is part of the seed of who God created within them. And like all seeds, we have to learn to rely and trust in the Master Gardener to help nurture and grow us in the way He always intended.
People around Supines are unaware of their intense need for love and affection because they don’t show or express them. This leaves the Supine in Affection with an unmet need for love, affection and approval that can lead them down a destructive path to try to get that need met. For many this will lead to sexual sins, trying to meet that need. I know, for I have been there.
The reason for this indirect behavior is simply fear. It is the fear of rejection that motivates them to not initiate and express their need for love and affection and expressing that same love and affection to others. This fear creates the motivation for them to hide away their need. Our appearances to others speak volumes and the Supine is saying “I don’t need love and affection” when in fact they very much do. Yes, appearances can be deceiving.
Initiation From Others
The Supine in Affection is capable of responding to love, affection and approval that has been initiated by others. This is because their fear of rejection has subsided with the other being the initiator. This is because they now feel “safe”. They are ready to give love but afraid to give it first. I remember how scared I was to tell my husband “I love you” for the first time. Our first “I love you’s” to each other were done in the dark because at least for me it felt a little bit safer. Turns out my husband is also a Supine in Affection.
The Supine in Affection is like the Sanguine, they require constant reassurance that they are loved, needed and appreciated. Yesterdays or even this morning’s love and appreciation is just that. They need to be loved, needed and appreciated all day, in every situation.
This fear in them creates a tendency to expect others to read their mind and know they have this need. With high expectations, Supines will inevitably with human failings be disappointed when their expectations are not met. The Supine tends to think of these disappointment feelings as “hurt” feelings. But let’s be frank; “hurt” feelings are angry feelings. How often have you seen a child off in a corner sulking because he didn’t get what he wanted? The Supine in Affection who is not getting the love and affection they need met will end up harboring lots of angry feelings that can become a cancer to the soul.
Unmet Needs and Their Consequences
Being a Supine in Affection with a compulsive component, I have gone through the process of held in “hurt” that effectually came out like a volcano exploding. God had led me to this and helped me get rid of the “hurt” feelings, process the anger and be emptied out so He could fill me up with his grace and the forgiveness needed towards the person I was angry towards.
Having the benefit of the experience of being a Supine in the Affection area, I can attest to the power of God working in a person’s life. God’s love for me didn’t let me to wallow in the mess of my sexual sins. He didn’t leave me to deal with the consequences of them. And most importantly, His love was greater than my need for love and affection which is compulsive. A compulsive need is one that constantly needs to be replenished. Only God who is love could fill a need like that.
It is time to take down the mask and not let fears control you. It is time to lay aside those appearances that are deceiving. Not feeling loved is no way to live. It is not what God wants for you. Reach out, seek Him and talk with a trusted friend, pastor or Christian counselor, like myself. He wants to fill you up with all you need if you would allow Him to.