February is the month we think about love because of Valentine’s Day but those with high love needs will need to be shown love and affection every day. For the next few weeks, we will be taking a look at each of the temperaments and what their specific needs and tendencies are in their Affection area.
The Affection area is another name for the emotions part of our soul. This particular area of our soul/temperament has to do with our deep relationships. Deep relationships are with those people that we have opened up to with deeper personal things that we would not with a surface social relationship. Each temperament has differing needs when it comes to the amount of deep relationships.
People will also have different needs for the amount of love affection they express and the amount they need to receive. Some will need very little and others a whole lot. And some may be in the middle of the road. But no matter how much love we need, everyone needs love and affection.
Sanguine in Affection
This week we are going to look at the beloved Sanguine. The person with the Sanguine temperament in the affection area is usually considered by those around them as very lovable. This is because they are very optimistic and open about their own love and affection for others. They have a need to express a lot of love and affection.
The amount of love and affection a Sanguine gives can be too much for temperaments with a lesser need for love and affection. It can cause temperament stress in that individual if they are getting this love and affection daily from a Sanguine. Those with lesser needs for love and affection like the Melancholy will have to learn to express their own lesser need for love and affection. They should also ask the Lord to help them receive the love and affection they are given, even when it is too much. Understanding that we all have differing needs is part of accepting each person for the unique creation God has made in them.
A Sanguine will also have to realize and accept that others don’t necessarily need the love and affection they need to give them. A wise Sanguine will learn to ask before giving hugs and kisses. He should pick up on the cues a person may give in their body language and eye contact that may be saying, “I don’t need a hug right now”.
A Sanguine has what is called “skin hunger”. They love to touch and be touched. This is not necessarily sexual in nature. It is the simple touches a person can give and receive like hugs, pats on the back, a brush of the hand on the shoulder or something fun like a high five. The Sanguine will have to understand that not all have this same “skin hunger” and therefore will need to rely on God to help them rein in their need to touch around those that don’t want to be touched..
The Sanguine has very high love needs. They need to be given this love and affection each day because the Sanguine lives for today and what love you gave yesterday was yesterday. Love and affection needs to happen today!! This can be very demanding for those temperaments that do not express a lot of love and affection but a Sanguine needs this love every day. Those temperaments that don’t express a lot of love an affection can with the Lord’s strength and guidance be able to reach out in love each day even in some small way. God calls us to love one another and for the Sanguine that needs to be shown to them in some way every day.
The Sanguine Child
The Sanguine child will be very loving and affectionate. They will want to cuddle with you, sit on your lap and will hug just about anybody. They will need a lot of love and affection given back to them. When this need is not getting met, a Sanguine child will release this hurt for not getting the love they need with anger.
I taught what I believe was a 4-year-old Sanguine in Affection boy in my class a couple years ago. He hugged me that first day of school and would often just come and get up on my lap. When he started having angry outbursts at school out of the blue, I knew something was amiss.
I talked with the parents about what I was seeing and about my thoughts on his love needs. I explained to them a bit about Sanguine in Affection and they seemed to agree that it did sound like him. It turns out the angry outbursts would only come out when his parents were out of town on a business trip. He and his siblings were being cared for by grandma. His love and affection need was not getting met when mom and dad were away. So, I asked them to make it a point to call him everyday while they were away so that he could get some words of love from them. They started doing this and his angry outbursts stopped.
Finding Out Love Needs
Learning to meet the high love needs of our children and our spouses are key to a healthy, balanced family. Getting our temperament tested is the first step towards gaining the knowledge needed to meet others needs and be able to understand and express our own.You can have your temperament tested and get a report on your unique needs and tendencies. Or you can do what I call the Temperament Bundle where you get your temperament tested and I go over it with you thoroughly in 4 sessions. These are not counseling sessions but a teaching sessions.
Do you think you might have a Sanguine in your family? or maybe you think it might be you? We can’t guess our temperament simply based on learning about the 5 temperament types because our temperament is more complex and it is the seed of who we are. This means this seed may have been shaped by the environment and your upbringing in such a way that what you present in your behaviors doesn’t show any aspect of the seed.
This need for love along with all our other soul needs are vital for our well-being just as it is vital for our physical body to have air, water, food and shelter. We spend tons of money on our physical health but forget that our soul needs attention as well. Today is the day to start being intentional about your soul care! Contact me to get your temperament tested.